He DOES exist!
by Skippy1
Summary: The result of extreme boredorm. Winston meets Big Brother and other such insanity.


Disclaimer: I do not own 1984 or Britney Spears or anything for that matter and I'm not making any money from this.  
  
A/N: It's been a while since I read this book, so some of the information may not be accurate and this whole story probably doesn't even make sense, but oh well. I just wrote this because I'm extremely bored right now.  
  
Chapter 1? This will probably just be a one-chapter thing, but oh well  
Winston Smith looked at the door. Inside that door was freedom. Once he got inside the door, he could free the world from The Party. He opened the door and took a step inside. A familiar face was sitting at a desk talking into a microphone. He didn't notice Winston walking in at first.  
  
"Yes, please send Britney Spears in here," said the man at the desk. "What? Britney Spears doesn't really exist? I knew those honkers were too big to be true!" Suddenly he noticed Winston and looked up.  
  
"Big Brother!" exclaimed Winston. "You do exist! What's next, Santa Claus?"  
  
"Of course I exist. Unfortunately, Britney Spears does not," said Big Brother sadly.  
  
"But I thought the whole thing was just a whole conspiracy!" Big Brother shrugged. A long awkward silence followed. "So what's with that name anyway?" asked Winston. "I mean, where did you come up with the name Big Brother?"  
  
"That is my real name," said Big Brother. But Winston saw it. Big Brother blushed. Only slightly, but noticeable enough for Winston to be convinced that Big Brother was hiding something.  
  
"You have a stupid name!" exclaimed Winston. "Well, who would have thought? The all mighty great Big Brother has a stupid embarrassing name! So tell me Big Brother, what is it?"  
  
"I do not know what you are talking about," said Big Brother. Winston leapt through the air and attacked Big Brother. After a few seconds Winston had him in a headlock.  
  
"Tell me your real name!" demanded Winston.  
  
"All right! My name is. . ." Big Brother paused.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Stacey Ashley Dusseldorf." Winston got off of Stacey and rolled over laughing.  
  
"That. . . is. . . the sissiest. . . name. . . I've ever. . . heard of. . ." gasped Winston in between waves of laughter.  
  
"No it is not," said Stacey. "It is a perfectly manly name." Winston snorted.  
  
"Sure it is," he said sarcastically. "Why did you change your name to Big Brother then?"  
  
"Um, because it sounds more um, menacing?" stuttered Stacey.  
  
"Well it does," remarked Winston. "But compared to Stacey Ashley Dusseldorf, anything would sound more menacing."  
  
"No," said Stacey. "How about. . . Ima Notmenacing?"  
  
"You cheated. You put the attribute as the last name!"  
  
"Did not."  
  
"Did too!" exclaimed Winston. "You were trying to make a name that was not menacing. The last name you came up with is 'not menacing'!" Stacey folded his arms and stuck out his lower lip.  
  
"Ugh. Stop pouting. You are so immature," said Winston.  
  
"Are not," replied Stacy stubbornly. Winston nearly screamed.  
  
"I do not have time for this nonsense!" he yelled.  
  
"I do not have time for this nonsense!" mocked Stacey. Winston did scream this time.  
  
"If you do anything else that is for eight year-olds," said Winston through clenched teeth, "I am going to. . . well, I don't know what I'm going to do, but you are going to regret it."  
  
"If you do anything else that-" began Stacey, but he was interrupted by Winston leaping through the air and landing on top of him. The two men wrested on the floor for a minute.  
  
"Mommy!" screamed Stacey very loudly. Horrified, Winston got up and ran out of the room, right into the arms of two Thought Police. Winston kicked them both and kept on running. Suddenly he was very confused.  
  
"That actually worked? Why hasn't anyone else ever done that?" he thought out loud to himself. He turned the corner and ran into about fifty Thought Police.  
  
"Oh," he muttered. "That explains it."  
A/N: Yep, pretty dumb, but oh well. More to come, maybe, if I ever get bored. 


End file.
